Brit Needs a Bib & Bra!

I have about 30 new pics of Britney Spears but don't remotely want to post a bunch of pictures of her today so I'm just posting a couple to point out a few things 'cause Britney needs a different kind of intervention:

1) Get rid of the damn contacts. For real! Your brown eyes are just fine ya dumb arse.

2) Put on a flippin' bra woman! Nobody, except the guys (and we know how great they are for you), care to see your nips.

3) Buy a damn bib. Doesn't Versace or Louis Vuitton design a bib? Maybe we need to get them right on that for you. Maybe that's a great invention..."The Brib" - a bra/bib for dumbarses like yourself.

4) And toss the boots already. They cut your legs in half.

5) Burn the purse. It's about as ugly as that damn $42k+ LV bag.

Finally, a word of encouragement: Congratulations on your continued sobriety (you are sober right?) and many well wishes. Maybe your next move should be a brain replacement because you've been around for many years and still have a heinous sense of style.

Cheers & Beers Water darling!