Hero Chihuahua

The sexy bisch above is 1-year-old Zoey and she saved the life of a toddler in northern Colorado.

The toddler, Booker West (future porn star), was splashing away in a birdbath (with his hands) when the snake slithered up, rattled and then struck. Tiny Zoey jumped between the snake and the tot and sustained bites to her head. The tot was 100% saved.

Zoey almost didn't make it but she is five-pounds of pure fight and she's going to be alright. Cheesy me didn't intend to rhyme there. Guess I'm like Britney...the cheese just oozes.

This gorgeous specimen is my Chihuahua Rocco (after Madonna's son). He is a 6-year-old hot mess and I love him bunches. I'm a good animal owner - not a Britney Spears/Paris Hilton type loser. Anyone who wants to get together and infiltrate those girls' homes to rescue their dogs should contact me. We'll be super stealth.