The Love Bus Has Crashed

Those of us who are skeptics (I think we just have our eyes open) knew the John Mayer-Jessica Simpson love bus would soon be slipping and sliding on the road to longevity and, well, they've crashed.

I think it's her hoochie outfit the night of the Metropolitan Museum's Costume Gala. She looked straight up hooker.

On the other hand, there is word that Mayer has hooked up with recently engaged (and proudly toothless) Amy Winehouse. The two are said to be sneaking away to Kate Moss's country home for some r&r. Ok, they're not really hooking up but wouldn't they have some cute kids! Oi.

5th Graders are Now Doing Men's Fitness's Photoshopping

I know, I know. Haven't posted because of my necessary trips to Atlanta and doctors appointments (plus these drugs [fertility] have me pooped) but I've gotten connected and should be doing a good bit of posting in these next several days.

Getting my feet wet with a simple but humorous post. WTF did Men's Fitness do to Andy Roddick? People at that mag make a lot of money and the best photoshopping job hey can do is one like my Jesus Cruise job? RIDICULOUS! -- If I were Andy I would be completely embarrassed.

They'd Get Life Sentences In India

Vanessa Minnillo clearly likes the attention of others as exhibited by her straddling of beau Nick Lachey in a public pool at the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island. He looks awfully dough-y these days. Ooooo, the life.

I think I'm due to go back there. It has been awhile.

Gere & Shetty are Safe

Remember the video and hoopla surrounding the innocent PDA between Richard Gere and Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty?



A judge in Rajasthan had issued an arrest warrant for Gere and a summons for Shetty after deeming the public kisses (on her cheeks) "obscene" but a smarter and wiser court, India's Supreme Court, has suspended the case. Bravo to the Supreme Court.

Is a high-five considered obscene? No? HIGH-FIVEs all around!!!

Let's Get It On!

Um, Justin Timberlake is yummy when he's not talking like a girl and Jessica Biel is hotter than hot because she works hard for her body (unlike Lohan who prefers the cocaine die) plus she's a great mommy to her adopted dogs (click her name link below for lots of Jess/doggy pics).

The two lovers looked to be having a nice time in the UK during dinner at Nando's. Timberlake's over there for the European leg of his tour.

Lohan & Momma Being Sued

Sometimes the court system really drives me nuts. For instance, remember this video of a stalkerazzi "getting hit" by Lindsay Lohan as she drove her mom's BMW in NYC March 13 (she was barely moving)? Now the faker, Giovanni Arnold, has filed a lawsuit for "an unspecified amount" alleging "severe and permanent" injuries to his knees as a results of the incident. Enabling mother Dina Lohan is also named in the suit.

Crap suits like this one need to be thrown out. It's ridiculous and this guy should be ashamed of himself. P-U-S-S-Y AND OPPORTUNIST!

The Skinny, The Tranny & The Fancy Flamer

Anna Kournikova is still looking better than her anorexic self did last year but she's not "there" yet. Keep eating and gettng strong hun! Kimora Lee Simmons on the hand hand - I can't stand the way she flaunts her lifestyle. Tacky.

She should just have weed delivered to her mansion and should never come out.

Somebody Needs a Beating

Ok, not really a beating because I don't condone violence (unless it's Paris[ite] Hilton getting smacked) but R. Kelly needs to mack on ten humble pies...pronto.

According to Page Six, he said the following in Hip-Hop Soul's latest issue:

"My greatest competition is, well, me . . . I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now."

First of all, you're an idiot and your music sucks. Secondly, I don't remember any of those guys being arrested and going on trial (which he will have to do this summer) for child pornography! DUMB ASS. I hate that guy.