Not Her Chihuahua's Fault!

A bit ago we heard that Paula Abdul had broken her nose and a toe when she tripped while trying to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua, Tulip. Interestingly enough, we never saw a swollen nose or black eyes. Things that make you go, "Hmmmm?"

A Page Six source is saying what we were all thinking - the chihuahua story is a cover up:

"Paula did not break her nose. She had pitched a fit, threw something into a mirror or glass object, and a shard of glass struck her in the face, which explains why Paula's nose didn't seem swollen," said our spy.

A rep for Abdul termed the account "absolutely, categorically untrue." -- How great is the Pretty on the Outside artwork!?!?! LOVE IT.

Defacing Hasselbeck?

If you hadn't heard, Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck really went at it earlier this week on "The View" and the fall out continues.

O'Donnell's chief writer, Janette Barber, was allegedly escorted from the ABC building after she was caught drawing mustaches on photos of Hasselbeck. BAHHHHHH! That is so childish but it totally cracks me up.

On her blog, O'Donnell said the following in response to comments/questions from viewers:

"Work isn't worth that battle," Rosie replied, "Agreed." Another wrote, "Please walk away. It's not worth it." Rosie replied, "Well, you know when it's time to go."

To a fan who asked when she would return, O'Donnell answered, "No idea."

Come on Rosie. You talk a big game about standing for what you believe in. Elisabeth really challenged you during this show (I agreed with her challenge but I hate her politics with a passion) and you need to stand up - not back down - show some strength here woman.

Mom Jeans are Not Hot Rachel

Singer Rachel Stevens was trying to pimp some 70's style mom jeans in West Hollywood Wednesday (May 23) but that shite is just plain ugly. This damn trend can't end soon enough. Thank gawd not everyone is wearing it though. Yes, thank gawd.

Hudson's Bra & Butt Crack

Ms. Kate Hudson gave us a two-for-one evening when she attended the Broadway show "Jersey Boys" Wednesday night...White bra and clear butt crack. Oooo-kaaaay.

Beckham's Soft Head

Yummy David Beckham(as long as he's not talking)...his hair is starting to grow in thank goodness. While he's still balling and earning money - the Mrs., Victoria Beckham, is back in L.A. staging getting pulled over by cops and living a life surrounded by the razzi.

I just like to think of rubbing my hands all over David's head...I can feel the softness when I close my eyes...sorry, I'm sounding like a creepy stalker. My bad.

She's 13! Put Some Damn Clothes On Her!

Um, your daughter Tallulah is 13-years-old Demi Moore - WTF is she going out dressed like that for? That dress and those shoes ARE NOT age appropriate.

Better check yourself before you riggity-wreck yourself...and your daughter.

Elizabeth Hurley is Pregnant

That's my opinion. Elizabeth Hurley is totally pregnant. What else do you make of the sari dress (yeah, besides the Hindu hubby), hand on the belly & the fact that she's carrying a bit more weight then she normally carries (she did once say she'd rather die than be fat)?

Hurley and new husband Arun Nayar were photographed at the Asian Women of Achievement Awards in London Wednesday (May 23).

Hurley's Mid-Life Plan:
1) Find wealthy Indian dude to marry.

2) Marry him in a couple of outlandish ceremonies and offend his family thereby alienating you and your new hubby from the fam.

3) Get pregnant so young son Damien (spitting image for the real Damien in "Omen") has a brother or sister to torture.

4) Finish creating Mid-Life Plan.

Not Gay & Not a Tranny

Don't label Russell Simmons gay and don't call his estranged wife, Kimora Lee Simmons, a tranny.

I don't know, maybe there is another reason the couple is suing In Touch magazine but that information hasn't been released yet. What we do know is that The Smoking Gun has court documents reflecting the two of them filed a libel lawsuit against the mag in New York Superior Court on May 17 for an undisclosed article that appeared in the mag at some point.

They are seeking $250,000 in damages which I'm sure she'll use to buy more gawdy jewelery...or the world's largest joint.

Crow Soaks Up Her Son

Yeahh, new momma Sheryl Crow is on the cover of Ok! magazine with new son Wyatt Steven. I can't wait to see more pictures of them.

Crow was snapped shopping at a jewelry store on Melrose in L.A. yesterday (May 23).

Nice to See Some Happiness

Despite horrendous lipsynching performances, costumes, a broke arse weave, Britney Spears looks quite happy here with little Sean Preston, SPF, Mr. Sunscreen himself.

I can't go without saying though: It irritates me to no end that she wears her pants so long that they go under her shoes and down the road half a block. So tacky and you know the sound they must create is like nails on a chalkboard.

Dina Lohan Should Be Fried

I cannot stand Dina Lohan - the dayum enabling mother of Lindsay Lohan and "The White Oprah" as she told Star magazine back in August of 2006.

Now she's saying she never said that. She just told Us Weekly, "I've read all these things, like, I said I'm the white Oprah. I've never said that in my entire life! It's completely ridiculous."

Realllllly? Here's what she told Star mag back in 2006: "I love to talk. Lindsay [ Lohan]'s friends call me 'The White Oprah' because they all come to me with their problems." Page Six confirmed with the article's writer that he quoted Lohan accurately.

She's a liar and an enabler hungry for her daughter's celebrity. She sucks donkey balls. Officially.

Anyone Gonna See This One...Mr. Brooks?

Marg Helgenberger, Dane Cook, Demi Moore, Kevin Costner and Danielle Panabaker attended the L.A. premier of "Mr. Brooks" earlier this week. Costner's a new daddy and I think Demi just might be pregnant. But that's my unedumacated guess.

The movie didn't get good reviews but I still want to see it. I'm forgiving like that.

Jorja On My Mind

Does anyone else get the lesbian vibe from Jorja Fox of CSI? Has she come out and I missed it or something?

No matter, she's great on the show. CSI RULES!

Check Out the Rock on Aishwarya's Finger!

Aishwarya Rai just recently married and I cannot believe the ring on her finger. It's insanely large. Actually, I think it's kind of obnoxious.

Andie McDowell, Kerry Washington & Michelle Yeoh, are in the middle shot. Click on all pics to see much larger!

American Idol Biz

Blah, blah, blah, Jordan Sparks is America's latest Idol, blah, blah, blah, anti-climactic, blah, blah, blah. Congratulations Jordan. Let's not kid ourselves - Blake will have a career. He'll be on the radio very soon. Or possibly gay "date" sites on the web a' la' Clay Gayken.

Check out what Simon's saying about his future plans: Simon Cowell of American Idol says he'll do another three years of the show but that's it, ""I'll have done 10 series and your time's up. It's time then to do something new. I think it's time to bring in new people... Ten years is a long time."

Who would he pick to replace him? "Donald Trump." WTF?! First of all, that idiot knows nothing about musical talent and second of all...EFFIN' GROSS. That guy makes my skin crawl. Why pick someone even more narcissistic than himself? I'm boycotting that shite if it happens. Oh man, Rosie O'Donnell will blow her lesbian top if Trump moves in on Idol.

I'm In Love With Jacky Blacky

Nacho Libre premier from last year...had to use this pic!

Like I said in the Clooney post - silly boys are sexy. Jack Black, in all his glorious roughness, is sexy as hell and it's his sense of humor and lack of a humor filter that kills me. I'd let him sweat all over me during a minute-and-a-half of passionate rabbit sex.

He was a guest of director Judd Apatow at the L.A. premier of Apatow's "Knocked Up" and Apatow's cousin was supposed to ask his girlfriend to marry him but chickened out and Jacky Blacky stepped in!

Black got down on knee and said to the shocked girlfriend, "Of all the people I have ever known, you are the one I love the most on this planet and on every planet." Then he busted into Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" before asking her to 'marry' him. Awwwwwwwww!

Silly Boys are Sexy...Clooney's the Man

Official still from Oceans 13.

I love George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Sarcastic wit is the best. Humor is my daily salvation and I just know these boys and I could totally hang for a week, laugh, drink, laugh, drink...I'd even let Matt Damon hang with us (We call ourselves "The Crew").

The Oceans 11, 12 & 13, cast is in Cannes for the annual Cannes Film Festival promoting their movie as well as George Clooney's "A Journey to Darfur." Such an excellent cause. Everyone should get involved. We Must care. Clooney and other stars raised over $8 million for their Save Darfur campaign and director Steven Spielberg donated $1 million himself. Now, enough preaching...I just fell off my soap box.

Gotta love this exchange Clooney and Damon had in an Associated Press interview:

Damon: ''Brad has had it tough. He's ...''

Clooney: ''Hobbled with children ...''

Damon: ''And that wife ...''

Clooney: ''That horrible, ugly wife.''

Damon: ''I mean, to go home to her every day ...''

Clooney: ''What do you do?''

Damon: ''Well, you have your work. That's about it. You can take refuge there.''

Clooney, still single, reminisced about turning up at the makeshift bar on the ''Ocean's Thirteen'' set and finding it overrun by children.

''Matt said, 'We should take a photo of this' because I'm in here with a bunch of, like, kids in diapers, and I'm sitting here having a vodka,'' Clooney said.

Shop Like a Celeb

Hilary and Haylie Duff were snapped doing what many celebs do best: SHOP. The sisters hit up Nordstrom's and Barney's New York at the Grove in West Hollywood.

Sharon Stone: "Come on, just wave, they've made us all very wealthy.

Wife: "But I don't want to wave to those peons. It will tire my arm. You two wave."

Roberto Cavalli: "Fine. But no more diamonds for you today."

Fancy Fanny Miller

Set pics are great and these of Sienna are cool if not boring. But I like the juxtaposition of someone in a period costume with present day accoutrements like Sienna and her BlackBerry.

Blech, whenever I see someone smoking I know they stink like an ashtray and they're just not very appealing ('cept for Johnny Depp...for him I'd wear noseplugs and proceed with the deed).

P.S. "The Best Time of Our Lives" with Sienna Miller, Keira Knightley , Cillian Murphy & Matthew Rhys, has been retitled "The Edge of Love." 'Cause the other title sounded sooo high school.

Them's Fightin' Words Ladies!

Another day on "The View," another Rosie O'Donnell vs. Elisabeth Hasselback argument. I cannot stand Elisabeth's views on this administration and its war but I also find it utterly annoying when Rosie doesn't let others speak and mocks them with the "one at a time" - "let me speak" - "just answer the question" crap when she knows full well that often times she doesn't allow others those same courtesies . It just makes her look overbearing and intolerant.

Come on Rosie, even idiot Bushies have the right to say their peace. ;) Keep the open dialogue going ladies!

Furbabies Rock Too

How cute is Christina Aguilera's dog sitting in the car eargerly awaiting her momma. I'm a total dog lover so the bottom pic just melts me.

Tit-for-Tat Jolie

Personally, I think tattooing the homeland coordinates (birthplace in Shiloh's case) of your children on your body is interesting and meaningful. Angelina Jolie totally pulls it off too. The latest map coordinates are that of Pax Thien's homeland.