82 Minutes = Time Served for Nicole F**king Richie

I just can't even handle this shite anymore. It's what makes me stop blogging about these fu*kheads. But here it is...

Nicole Richie was sentenced to four days in jail for "driving the wrong way on an L.A. freeway while under the influence" (vicodin and weed) and Thursday she spent 82 minutes in jail (let's be real, that time was spent booking her...she wasn't "locked up")...82 effing minutes!

She checked in at 3:15pm and was out by 4:37pm. How damn smug does she look in her mugshot? Apparently she was given credit for 1 day because she spent 6 hours in jail after her arrest.

The County Sheriff issued this statement:

On August 23 2007, at 3:15 PM Miss Nicole Camille Richie reported to CRDF and surrendered herself following a July 27 arrest, she was sentenced to serve 96 hours in County Jail. Miss Richie was accompanied by her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley and her boyfriend Joel Madden. Miss Richie was booked and processed into the jail system. Miss Richie was cooperative during the process. Based on her sentence and federal court guidelines, Miss Richie was released at 4:37 PM today.

This is justice? This is supposed to teach her a lesson?...teach the young girls out there who look up to her (however erroneous) there are consequences for your actions? COME ON!

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden 1&1/2 hrs before serving her dreadful sentence.
source

And if This Bish is Pregnant...

...I'LL PHUCKING CUT SOMEONE...AND IT WON'T BE ME EITHER!

Nicole Richie pregnant is just all sorts of wrong. Drug and alcohol addicted, arrested for heroin possession, arrested for driving the wrong way on a phucking freeway while under the influence of Vicodin and weed...she and Joel "Poser" Madden haven't been together long let alone married...her ass is probably headed to jail after her last arrest...and the bish starves herself...shite pisses me off.

These were snapped at the YSL Pool Party to benefit Center Dance Arts last Thursday. Page Six is reporting she was wearing what looked like an engagement ring:

"It was one big rock surrounded by more diamonds," our source said. Richie refused to talk about the ring. Meanwhile, Madden was "overly attentive to her - keeping his arm around her all night - and repeatedly asked her if she was OK." The cozy couple ate everything on their plates, lobster salad and lamb, but refused all alcohol, which our snarky spy called "a first for her."

Seriously, I'm gonna cut her.

Nice Breast Bones Dumbarse

Uh, it's ok to eat you idiot. That's right Nicole Richie- my PERSONAL OPINION is that you need to eat more. You and the other bone-flaunting-skinny-beotches are on my last nerve and while you're not exactly heavy standing on that last nerve - the nerve is still heavily irritated. The ride ends here. Get off hooch.

And while you're at it: Take some of that money and fame you've done nothing to deserve and work for/donate to charity. Seriously. Don't you feel empty and completely useless Richie Rich? Do something for others. Today.

-- Click pic for a closer view. Blech.

'Cause She Deserves a Break Today & Every Day...

Proving that there's no diet like a stoner's diet, Lindsay Lohan hit up McDonald's and got a coffee shake in her economical Porsche Carerra yesterday.


She was probably trying to build strength for yet another night out...

LaLohan attended the Armani Exchange sunglasses launch party later that evening. Oops, Paris Hilton was there too. Too bad we've received no word of a cat fight. Nicole Richie must've played mediator...or Lindsay was googoo eyed and focused on her rumored lesbian lover DJ Sam Ronson - who was spinning the vinyl for the festivities.

Who Let Their 10yr old Borrow Their Clothes, Shades & Credit Cards?!

I swear this girl looks like she's 10-years-old...13 max. Good to see a couple of pounds on her though. She could stand to gain a few more...still looks like her chest is caving in.

Oh, Nicole Richie was snapped shopping Dior in Beverly Hills. Yet another non-surprise...click for a closer view.

Lionel's Daughter Is The Only One Who Needed Rehab

Even thought his daughter went to rehab for her drug addiction (and idiot still denies her eating disorder), Lionel Richie suggests rehab is abused. You don't say?! Well, he said:

“I think it’s a cliché to say, ‘I’m going into rehab. I bumped my foot today — rehab; I hit my head on something — rehab.’”

But his daughter's case was different because she really needed it.

Some say he was probably referring to the Isaiah Washingtons and Mel Gibsons of the world. In which case, yeah, they're dumb shites who went to rehab to save their careers. But at least they didn't turn around and blame their management for making them go 'a la Britney Spears (does the idiot really think she didn't need rehab?).

Nicole Does the "Shaggy Dog-Bee Stung Lips" Look

You cannot tell me this girl didn't have her lips done!
And what's with the shaggy dog hair? UGLY!
*AFTER*


** BEFORE **

Ohhhh Paris & NicoleWhen will your time be up?

The annoying couple were snapped filming their TV show "A Simple drugged out spoiled rotten overrated Life"...they irritate me to no end.

Nicole Richie Doesn't Have ADHD

Insiders who know Nicole say she has been using the prescription drug Adderall to stay skinny. InTouch weekly sources said:

"She loves Adderall because she stays awake, and it makes her not want to eat," says a close pal."..."And she takes it even more when she's filming."

Although her rep denies that she uses the drug, a pal says Nicole's actually increased her dosage:

"She's taking more and more lately."

UPCHUCKS TAKE: Someone needs to create a "celebrity-be-gone" product so we can zap all these tards outta here.

Ashley Olson Almost Looks Human Here!

I said "almost"...

Girlfriend gets ZERO style points here.

But at least she looks semi-human...Remember all of this mess?!

I still don't know what to make of the Olsen's.

On another note, doesn't this "look" seem familiar? Wait a minute!

Nicole Richie did it last year!

Duff Slams Richie-Madden in New Album

(Hilary in Milan on March 8, 2007)

Hilary Duff has been all over the web lately with her London travels and now Milan...but it's her album release next month that should be the real fun. Dignity has a couple of songs on it directed at her ex Joel Madden and his new girlfriend Nicole "Skeleton" Richie.

The title track features lyrics including, "Where's you dignity? I think you lost it in the Hollywood Hills. Can't buy respect, but you can pick up that bill." The barbed song goes on, "Always with Mr. Right, but when you have a fight/Run into your friend's ex, he's happy to be your next/Tomorrow's paper's coming out so kiss him fast, watch the cameras flash."

Duff's rep confirmed for RadarOnline the songs are about her ex and his new chica.

Richie-Madden Show Off Rings

These two bug me to no end but here's another pic of the rings everyone is talking about. Did they marry or are they just the annoying and childish people we know them to be who feel like pretending they're married?

Oooo, Joel Madden's Sooo Tough

Nicole Richie, fresh off her Sunday hospital visit for dehydration, was feeling good enough to go to dinner at Mr. Chow's in Beverly Hills. However, boyfriend Joel Madden was pissy and shoved a razzi out of the way of their car. Dude, if you don't want the razzi on you then 1) Eat in. OR 2) Go to In-n-Out NOT Mr. Chow's in Beverly!

Nicole Richie Hospitalized

Ok, I'll give it to her that she looks better lately now that she has gained a few pounds but the above painting from Gallery of the Absurd still rings true. Nicole was rushed from the set of the Simple Life to a nearby hospital after she fell ill and an on-set doctor examined her and determined she needed to go to the hospital. Reports are that she received IV fluids for 15 minutes then went home. Her rep said the following:

"Nicole is home resting and will return to work this evening," her rep said in a statement. "We are proud of the weight that Nicole is gaining and her focus on her health."

How Ridiculous Is This Photo?!!

LaLoooo-serrrrrs. I hate Paris Hilton and Courtney Love has been working so hard on making her face even fuglier. I thought the purpose of surgery was to make you look better.

That Joel guy just irritates me to no end...total wannabe tough guy...Nicole Richie looks ok but loses points for being with such wankers.

'I Was On The Rag' Ritchie Pleads Not Guilty to DUI

This afternoon, Nicole Richie attorneys for Rag'n Richie pleaded not guilty to driving under the influence of stupid.

Foolio was arrested for DUI on December 11Th. Remember? She drove the wrong way down the 134 Freeway in Burbank and then stopped in the carpool lane and waiting police.

Pretrial hearing is set for April 2.

D*ckhead Says What?

Never have liked this foolio but he has managed to make me vurp (burp & vomit together) this time. Who the hell is this wad?

His hooked up with Nicole Richie to make a name for himself. Ok, so that's not uncommon. But check out what his loser-assistant put it:

"Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you're gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that sh--, bro. You'll be, like, a f---ing hero to America."

Class act buddy -- class act.

[source]