Momma Marijuana

American Idol singer alum Sanjaya Malakar told People this week that he's not gay - " He just understands women."

Now we learn that one major woman in his life, his mom, was arrested in February of 2005 after being busted with 310 marijuana plants!!! It's marijuana - not crack cocaine or heroin - so this cracks me up. Save the "it's still illegal" crap.

It could very well explain the "mellow yellow" vibe we get from the whole fam! His sister Shyamali was actually busted with a bag of weed and "smoking devices" but ratted on her mom after she was arrested. Sis is he one who sent them to the growing operation.

Momma Marijuana could have gotten up to 5yrs in jail but got off with a 30-day sentence. BAHHHHHHHH. No matter how normal or straight people look - there's always something going on behind the scene.

Bless His Sweet Gay Heart

I'll preface this by saying Sanjaya Malakar, 17, of "American Idol" infamy, owes none of us anything and isn't required to step out of the gigantic closet he is living in - but this stuff is priceless! Here's what he told People magazine for their latest issue:

"I've always gotten along with girls better because I was raised by women."

"I got teased in school because people figured I must be gay because I understand women."..."I think that's why guys didn't like me – because I got along with girls so well. When I went up to girls they would give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek like I was their gay friend. But I was the straight guy that understood them."

"I had a girlfriend but she became clingy, and I didn't want to get into a really serious relationship because I was 16. Before his arrival on the hit FOX show, "I just wanted to date and have fun," he says.

Upchuck(er)'s translation: She wanted his penis and he was saving that it for Johnny. Hang in there Sanjaya. You seem quite confident in most of yourself and I hope there comes a day when you and Seacrest can join forces "Wonder Twins" style...then you can really take over the universe! -- Until then, stick with the non-clingy girls.

Sanjayanara Bayy-Byyy!

FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! Viewers smartened up and voted Sanjaya Malakar, 17, off of American Idol Wednesday night.

We fast forwarded through the show to the end ('cause that's the only way to watch the vote-off nights) and were ecstatic to see him gone.

DUDE ACTUALLY LOOKED SURPRISED! Did he seriously think he was gonna win? That's just crazy talk Sanjaya.

It cracks me up that young girls always fall in love with the gay guys. I know, he hasn't said he is gay but my gay-dar has been blasting "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP" since I first saw and heard him.

Some Humor On A Sad Day In America

If you like Sanjaya from American Idol or think dude can sing - you may want to skip this video. I, on the other hand, LOVE IT. Especially at the end, "Did you vote for Sanjaya?"..."No."..."Whyyy nottt?" BAHHHHHHH!