Since I've Been Gone

I have been ill and away for weeks now...wouldn't ya know it, some juicy stuff happened! For instance:

1. Lindsay Lohan crashed her car and cocaine was found in her car. She fled the scene and was later arrested at the hospital (like she needed to go - there's video of her running away from the scene of the accident) for suspicion of DUI.

2. Lindsay Lohan was seen falling as she left a club and passed out in her lesbian lover's car (Samantha Ronson).

3. Lindsay Lohan entered Promises rehab facility (the facility who famously sucked at helping Britney Spears get better...she's been out drunk and dirty lately.).

4. Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend Calum Best was photographed allegedly snorting coke off of a hooker's stomach. NICE. Effing scumbag. Lindsay then dumped him. Ya think?!

5. John Mayer and Jessica Simpson broke up...again.

6. Paris Hilton went to jail.

7. Paris Hilton was released from jail.

8. Bon Jovi rocker Richie Sambora went into rehab...no word on whether Denise Richards will follow.

9. George Michael has been banned from driving and was sentenced to community service as a result of getting busted awhile back passed out and slumped over the steering wheel of his car after drugging it up.

10. Photos of partying Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Minnillo holding knives to eachother's throats were leaked. I'm already so tired of all these girls again.

11. Paris Hilton was ordered back to jail today.

PHEW! I didn't list everything but, man, things have been crazy. Good to be back folks.