NO! Zeta-Jones is Melting!

What is going on here?! The once shapely and glowing Catherine Zeta-Jones looks way too thin and, dare I say, out of it.

I'm so confused. What is Michael Douglas doing to Cubic Zirconia? He is sucking her blood believing in its youthful powers.

That's it. On behalf of CZJ, I AM SENDING AN URGENT SOS! Get thee some bread and shut off the coke valve!