Conversations of the Classless

with Greasy Bear Davis and Kim "WTF is my job?" Kardsashian at the Mercedes Benz fashion show in Miami last night. It is being reported that Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis's family has finally cut him off because he refuses to clean up his act (or just shower for that matter).

Greasy Bear: Got $2,000 or $10,000 I can borrow?

Kardashian: Um, I thought you were a billion-HEIR.

Greasy Bear: My family cut me off...something about no job, too many drugs, too much alcohol, being worthless. Do you believe this sh*t?

*awkward silence*

Greasy Bear: So, you got that money?

Karsashian: You think these ass implants were free dude? I made $100 off that sex tape with Ray-J.

Greasy Bear: WTF?!?!

Kardashian: I know, I know. But with these ass and boob implants I can surely make $200 on the next one.

Greasy Bear: So you're broke too?...Don't talk to me.

Kardashian: F.U. dude. WTF are you always so greasy and nasty anyway? Not like you work out. Stop talking to me.

Greasy Bear: No. You don't talk to me...until you've got that $2k you owe me.

Ghet-toooo!

Remy Ma (middle) & Makeda Barnes-Joseph (right).

With a friend like rapper Remy Ma - who the hell needs friends?!

Remy Ma, 27, allegedly shot her friend of over 15-years, Makeda Barnes-Joseph, outside of a pizza shop allegedly over $2,000 Ma thought Barnes-Joseph stole from her purse.

The "friends" were at Pizza Bar in the Meatpacking District (NYC) celebrating a mutual friends 25th birthday when the incident happened.

Barnes-Joseph, 23, was shot twice in her midsection while sitting in her car - Remy Ma fled in a SUV with two men but then crashed into a parked car (BAHHHHH! You idiots!) and she then fled on foot. The two men were taken into custody for questioning and the police continue their search for ghetto Ma.

UPDATE: Remy Ma turned herself in Saturday night. She was also arrested on charges of assault and criminal possession of a weapon.

Surveillance video inside the pizza joint did not show any physical or verbal altercations. The police believe the two women may have argued a block away from the joint before the shooting.

Cruz'n for Action

Woah Penelope! I wore a shirt/dress like that to the tattoo shop two weeks ago (hubby getting work done) and I think the dudes thought I wanted my vajayjay pierced...or tattooed...or both. YIKES!

Pene better be careful! Let's hope she's wearing boy short panties under there. Panties...some people really hate that word.

Oh the life...nice and fit, fly to London, shop Dior with fans and razzi there to document it. *sigh*

I'll just crawl back to my yard to do some more work...no gardener for this chica. Poverty sucks. Wait, poverty is not having a home or yard. Never mind. I appreciate everything I've got. Thank you Jesus Cruz. NOT!

Garner's Totally Pregnant

Maybe I'm just thinking she's pregnant because I really want to be myself, but I can't help but notice Jennifer Garner's blooming belly.

Mama Garner took Violet to the Los Angeles Zoo for some animal funzies.



Two reasons the baby belly can't be my imagination:

1) She is extremely fit and has no pooch.
2) It's not just a billowy dress. You can see how the dress follows her belly line then gets pulled back in as she walks .
3) Check out how Violet's leg contours over Jen's belly.
4) Click her name link below to check out other recent pics of her.

My bet is on something-a-growin' in there.

Zesty Zeta-Jones

Catherine Zeta-Jones is out pimping her latest flick, No Reservations co-starring Aaron Eckhart (Thank You for Smoking, Erin Brockovich, and she could not have looked more perfect last night in NYC. Just enough of a slit to show some sexy leg but otherwise covered.

That's how a lady does it. Don't show your whole slit. Oops, this just turned dirty.

Not Because of Roids

This dog Wendy is unbelievable but she's actually not the only whippet in the world like this. Wendy has a genetic abnormality causing her to be "double-muscled" - CRAZY!

Click here to read her full story at Daily Mail UK.

Golden Balls and RoboSpice

Yeah baby! David Beckham now has his L.A. Galaxy jersey, the introductions have been made, and now he can start training for the moment he starts playing live and in person for me.

Golden Balls is what Vicks refers to her Becks as. Isn't that sweet...

She did say she was going to try to smile more for us Americans so she doesn't look like a miserable cow but WTF does it matter if she's just going to cover it up?!

[image source]

Stalker Stalking Cheeto Brit

Looks like it wasn't a Britney Spears confidant who ratted her out to the Department of Child and Family Services but a stalker. I know, I know. Who would stalk such trouble but to each his own.

Apparently a stalker is annoyed with the Cheeto loving - Red Bull guzzling smoker and decided that several calls to CFS would help get her attention. Contrary to earlier reports the Department did not make any house calls to the Spears mansion.