Today's "Oh, Puh-Leeeze" News Brought to You By Michael Jackson

MJ has been reviewing plans for a 50-foot robotic replica of himself for Las Vegas. Eh gawd.

"It would be in the desert sands," said Mike Luckman of Luckman Van Pier, consultants to large entertainment companies. "Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying would see. Neon is wonderful, but it's old school." Luckman's partner, Andre Van Pier, who designed the futuristic spacesuits worn recently by Bono and U2 at a benefit concert in New Orleans, designed the robot. He has also sketched out a stage set of a giant audience-interactive video game with human cyborgs controlled by the audience. Said Luckman: "Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them."

He has reportedly bought a house in sin city and is in talks to potentially have a "Celion Dion"-esque type of run but many doubt he could fill a 4,100 seat venue every night. Who the hell wants to see a pervert who paid off accusers an alleged pedophile gyrate and "Hee-He!" all night?

At least the guy still thinks highly of himself - though this is probably an act. Click here if you care to read the whole story. I have to stop typing about him because now I feel dirty and gross.