One vice at a time people

I don't miss smoking one bit...blech....and I think everyone should quit - but I do understand why Lindsay Lohan needs to focus on quitting the cocaine (and lawdy knows what else) before worrying about ditching the tobacky.

Lohan's still in rehab in Utah and it's good to see she's putting in some time at the gym. Keep it up woman.

While Lindsay is rehabbing, White Oprah (Mama Lohan) is in a little tiff with actress Jodie Foster after Foster let it be known how she feels about Lindsay's state.

"Can I just ask, where is her mother? I mean, really, where is her mother?"

"When I was their age, there were no big 18-year-old stars... Now, we want the 17-year-olds so we can bleed them for all they're worth and squeeze as much money as we possibly can out of them - and then their career will be over in something like three years."

The following response from White Oprah is a good one - if only her actions spoke as loud as her words.

“It really saddens me that a mom would comment on another mom without ever meeting me!”

“Ironically Lindsay’s talent was compared to Jodie Foster’s as a little girl! I don’t know what Jodie dealt with as a young Hollywood actress but I do know if it weren’t for her mother she would not be a successful actress today! I’m sure her mother made many sacrifices for her to be successful.”

“All we want as parents is to cultivate our children’s dreams ,whatever field they choose. She has no idea who we are and what we have dealt with! If she has a question to ask me, don’t ridicule me publicly! She should know how the press twists the truth! Don’t judge without facts!”

COUGAR FIGHT!

Lohan Gets 1 Day in Jail

Celebrity justice continues as Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to ONE day in jail for her SEVEN misdemeanors.

Lohan pleaded no contest to two counts of DUI (driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher), two counts of being under the influence of a controlled substance (cocaine; 2 separate incidents) and she pleaded no contest to reckless driving.

Because it was her second DUI offense, she was required by law to serve four days, however, the judge gave her one day credit for the time served after her bust(s) and cut the four in half by "ordering her to perform 10 days community service."

Lucky Lohan will serve 36 months probation and must attend an alcohol education program for 18 months. For the controlled substance plea, she was ordered to not use controlled substances (you don't say?!), must enroll in a drug program and is required to stay for an unspecified amount of time at the Utah rehab facility she is currently in.

If Nicole Richie's 82 minutes are any indication, Lohan won't even serve a full day.

January 18 is "D" day for her. She must show she successfully completed rehab.

Lohan in fall/winter Pop magazine.

Lohan released a statement to TMZ:

"It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.

Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.

I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so."

Lohan could be the luckiest chick ever

F**king Lindsay Lohan. In what other world could you crash your car while drunk (with cocaine in your possession) and get arrested, go to rehab, then get arrested again for DUI and cocaine possession after chasing people in a vehicle (not your own) and NOT be charged with ANY felonies? Only in Celebrity World. It's sick.

TMZ is reporting there is a "strong possibility" the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office will NOT file felony charges against Lohan in connection with her two DUI arrests."

In the meantime, the luckiest girl in the world continues her rehab efforts by visiting with family in a grocery store (where she reportedly works for money that is then donated to charity ), riding a bike, tanning...what? You didn't know that's what rehab involved?

Lohan could very well be charged with two counts of misdemeanor DUI and might only have to do 4 days in jail (if that). The charges will be filed tomorrow and if she's not charged with a felony, she won't be required to attend the arraignment.

This girl is never going to learn if she doesn't have to pay for her mistakes. This is ridiculous and it pisses me off. You and me would have lost our licenses already, we'd already be in jail with long sentences, and we'd be paying huge fines.

F**king ridiculous.

Today's Art Lesson

...brought to you by Gallery of the Absurd. Click each pic to truly appreciate 14's expertise.

The biggest blow hard of them all, Donald Trump, is begging for publicity again by using the names of today's most annoying celebutards to pimp his Celebrity Apprentice.

Regarding the rehabbing (again) Lindsay Lohan: "Another f**king mess. We haven't asked her yet, but I'm going to call her this week. It would a positive thing for her to do . . . for all of them," he says.

Combo-over Trump claims that Paris Hilton has expressed interest in appearing on the show but Hilton's spokesman, Mike Sitrick, told Page Six he wasn't aware of any deal.

Always the flattering one, Trump told Page Six, "We're negotiating with Britney right now. Can you imagine her doing it?"..."We're not sure what will happen. She's a f**king mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she'd be great." Hilton, he adds, "wants to be on, and we're thinking about it, but I don't know if we're going to do it."

Thanks Ang!

Whachoo Smell?

I smell Mystic Tan, Secret deoderant and a once promising career trying to climb its way up the drain.

Lindsay Lohan is still in rehab in Utah (thank you Jesus...or is it Joseph Smith in this case?) working on her sobriety again for the third time this year.

The arraignment for her July 24, 2007, arrest (on charges of "possession of cocaine, DUI, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving on a suspended license") is set for August 24 at 8:30 AM but that's the same day she is scheduled to appear Beverly Hills Court the same day for her Memorial Day weekend DUI bust (I was super sick then so I didn't get to blog about that arrest). -- I'm sure her attorney(s) will make proper arrangements.

Lindsay's Sister Speaks

Since Lindsay's arrest Tuesday morning we've been hearing all sorts of crap including Lohan's denial of responsibility, “Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy,” and now her sister is getting in on the mix.

Lindsay Lohan's sister Ali, 13, is speaking out against her father and says White Oprah and her sister are "insperations"[sic] to her. Here is an email Ali sent to 24sizzler.com:

Hi david this is ali lohan, i want everybody to know the truth out there. My mom is a single mom of four children she has always been there for us, she was my mother and father and still is. My father is telling all lies to people and saying he was such a great dad and was always there for us, my father was never there for us, My mom was always there souporting[sic] us. i think that the whole reason why my sister is upset with her self and not as cofident[sic], is because of my dad not being around, and always staying out late and not coming home for days, he would come back home never himself, he was always was making excuses for his bad behavior . And would always blame my mother. He just wants everybody in the world knowing that he was a great dad. He wasnt that is all a lie. I just want my sister to stick throught[sic] this okay, and my mother and brothers and i are there for my sister 100% and have always been. I’ve wanted to say this for so long and get this out there and let everyone know that our family is like a normal family but of course we are put under a microscope because of lindsays fame, lindsay will be fine she is just going through a rough time right now but she will be fine. i know this for a fact. My sisters is just like a normal sister. her and I have so much in common. My mother and sister are huge insperations[sic] to me, they have made it through so much in there lives.

Thank you for your time god bless, Ali

Shite, White Oprah was typing away, drunk, Wednesday night when that email was sent. Ok, maybe not, but put stay in school Ali. Seriously.

NOTE: Michael Lohan (Daddy Dearest) is scheduled to appear on Nancy Grace (CNN) tonight at 8 p.m. Why don't all these people lay low and STFU?! You can't heal wounds through gossip!

Lindsay Chasing Assistant!

Lohan partying before her arrest.

Oh shite! As you all know by now, Lindsay Lohan was arrested early this morning (1:30 - 2:15 a.m.) for DUI (amongst other charges) after she was found chasing another vehicle with her Denali.

Well, according to police, Blowhan's assitant quit just a few hours before the arrest and when her assistant's mother came to pick her up, Blowhan started chasing them! The mother called the police to tell them what was happening and that she would attempt to drive to the nearest police station and we all know Lindsay ended up arrested.

Um, when is someone going to write a Lindsay Lohan movie?! This stuff is crazy.

Lindsay, you need years of rehab. Or at least a year. Fly to some distant island, stay in rehab (and avoid the press) for a year, get your damn shite together and try to live again. Before you die.

UPDATE - STATEMENT FROM LINDSAY'S ATTORNEY:

"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

UPDATE 2: Lohan has checked back in to rehab but not Promises. She is at an undisclosed facility.

Let's hope she's really on a plane to a facility far away. For a long long time.


UPDATE 3 (and then it's time to grocery shop - so hot!):

It may not have been Lohan's assistant involved in last night's drama. TMZ is reporting it was her "second assistant who was on the scene, and from what our sources tell us, she had been relieved of her duties last night -- exactly why, we're not sure."

WTF? Why does she need two damn assistants? Seriously. Is it really that hard to keep track of your party destinations Linds? Sheesh.

Headed to Jail or Death

Two stays in rehab in less than 6 months (forty-five days the second time), a car accident and arrest for DUI (for which she was just booked last week), lost jobs, stained reputation, awful photos...none of this has been able to save Lindsay Lohan.

Lohan was arrested for DUI at around 2:15 a.m. in Santa Monica after failing a field sobriety test. Reports are that her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13 while the legal limit is .08. Uh, those numbers suggest she was quite drunk.

Once taken to the police station, she was searched and cocaine was found in her pants pocket.

This girl has really f*cked herself. She is due in court on the 1st DUI charges on August 24 - this latest episode does not bode well for her. DOES PARIS HILTON NOT RING A BELL LINDSAY?!

Cops reportedly received a call of a vehicle chasing another vehicle. Blowhan was driving a Denali and reportedly chasing a Cadillac Escalade. WTF?! DUMBARSE!

These latest charges include "possession of cocaine, DUI, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving on a suspended license."

Blowhan was released from jail this morning after processing and posting $25,000 bail. She shouldn't get too comfortable. This chick is going to jail. Fo-shizzle. As she should.

I'd like to see White Oprah explain this one away.

Yikes, Who's the Friend?

Eecently released from rehab after a 45-day stint and wearing an alcohol detector anklet (per her wishes to prove her sobriety), Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 21st birthday in Vegas last weekend.

WTF is she doing hanging out with a panty flashing - coke nosed chick? Hopefully this girl is also a sober person and maybe she's acting as Lohan's sober friend/support buddy 'cause the two were snapped yesterday arriving at an AA meeting.

Keep up the great work Lindsay! You can do great things and be a part of great causes if you keep your shite together.

How Many Lines (Coke)?

Wanna play a guessing game?

How many lines of coke did Lindsay Lohan enjoy before filming these stripper scenes in her upcoming flick I Know Who Killed Me?

For the First Time...

I actually believe that's water in Lindsay Lohan's water bottle and not vodka.

Lohab went hiking in Malibu Tuesday and brought along lots of "sober companions" to help guard her. Sober companions are not employees of Promises treatment center but are independent contractors hired for around $2,000 per day to escort rehabbers to appointments with lawyers, doctor appointments, court, etc. They're not really meant to be used as best friends to go roller skating, hiking, or boxing with.

Lohab is also reportedly pissing off some people in rehab as they say she is constantly texting people, throwing her clothes around her room and she doesn't shower often. Uh, what?

This is all crap. Just get better Lohab. Take your recovery seriously. Or else.

GREAT Decision LaLohan

Lohan at Venice Beach, CA, June 20.

Troubled Lindsay Lohan may really be reclaiming her life these days. She has been in Promises rehab facility since a Memorial Day Weekend bender and her enabling mother says she plans to stay longer:

“She’s going to be doing extended care,” Dina Lohan said in Tuesday’s editions of the Daily News. “It was her choice.”

The actress and professional party girl was on a several months long bender until she crashed her car into a curb/tree and was snapped completely passed out in DJ Samantha Ronson's car outside of a nightclub.

source

Does the "Unstoppable" Hat Make Lohan Invisible Too?

Lindsay Lohan was spotted at a Malibu gym again last week. Sweat out all those toxins girl! Keep up the hard work and you'll do just fine.

She's slated for release from Promises rehab facility sometime next week. Shouldn't someone with heavy habits like Lohan stay in longer? Seems like 60-90 days is more appropriate. Just a thought.

Lohan's Drinking/Drugging Worse Than Robert Downey Jr.

Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard, Lee Weaver, fears the troubled actress's addictions will kill her.

Weaver was Lohan's "watchman" for two years and has worked for a number of Hollywood stars but says Lohan is the wildest celebrity he's ever met, even more so than former drug addict Robert Downey Jr.

Weaver tells British newspaper News of the World, "I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood - but never anyone as out of control as Lindsay. She had a total death wish and took more drugs and drank more than anyone I've met. I lost count of the times I thought she overdosing and had to carry her out of parties. Every morning I'd breathe a sigh of relief when she was still alive."

"I'd never heard of her when I was asked to do the job. She was only 18 but it was a nightmare. I would pray every night she wouldn't kill herself on my watch. I desperately hope she stops doing drugs but fear that will only happen when she kills someone else with her reckless ways - or kills herself."

Damn, let's hope she stays in rehab longer than 30 days and that she's serious about recovery. Otherwise people will be moving her to spot #1 on their death pool list.

Lohan Works it Out

Um, seeing Lindsay Lohan working out is as shocking as seeing Britney Spears clothed. These don't look like they were taken at Promises rehab facility. Did she bust out already?

Maybe she was just warming up for a jog to her dealer's house.

Tacky AND Silly

Would someone please tell me that these fashion people & celebrities don't really think they're the know all when it comes to style. Seriously, there are very few I would even take shower curtain advice from...Lindsay Lohan and Karl Lagerfeld aren't included in "the few" either.

As you may well know, Lagerfeld designs for Chanel and Chanel held it's Cruise Collection show at the Santa Monica Airport - complete with Chanel private jet.

What a bunch of tools.

Camilla Belle...

One more Lohan, some Sarah Michelle Gellar and the always lovely Eva Mendes. She's just such a beauty in my eyes...Ashley Olson, Demi Moore, Emmy Rossum & Camilla Belle.

Lohan & Momma Being Sued

Sometimes the court system really drives me nuts. For instance, remember this video of a stalkerazzi "getting hit" by Lindsay Lohan as she drove her mom's BMW in NYC March 13 (she was barely moving)? Now the faker, Giovanni Arnold, has filed a lawsuit for "an unspecified amount" alleging "severe and permanent" injuries to his knees as a results of the incident. Enabling mother Dina Lohan is also named in the suit.

Crap suits like this one need to be thrown out. It's ridiculous and this guy should be ashamed of himself. P-U-S-S-Y AND OPPORTUNIST!

Show Off That Coke Bod!

Lindsay Lohan has a great body right now - if she had worked out to get it...but we know her "extracurricular" activities don't include a dedicated work out regime.

These were snapped at the Atlantis Resort in Nassau, Bahamas...I love that place.