Bits o' UpchuckFoxy, Spears, Jackson, Lane-Brolin, Versace

Trouble in the marriage of sexy actress Diane Lane and hubby Josh Brolin? Looks like the two haven't been seen together on a red carpet since mid-2003. Lane didn't attend the recent "Grindhouse" premier which Brolin is in and Brolin didn't attend the "Hollywoodland" premier in support of Lane either. [e!]



Fashion designer Donatella Versace and her ex-husband Paul Beck say they're going to sue several newspapers over their reporting of their daughter's battle with anorexia. Tuesday night, several news organizations suggested 20-year-old Allegra Versace Beck had been hospitalized after years of battling the eating disorder. Wednesday's editions of London's Evening Standard and Italy's Corriere della Sera newspaper, quoted Donatella as saying, "Anorexia is consuming her... The doctors are doing all they can to snatch her away from this cruel disease." -- Today's statement from Versace and Beck indicataes, "Allegra is not at present staying in any hospital, she is living in her private residence and her condition does not cause particular concerns."

Nice, they're daughter is needle thin - clearly very ill - and her condition "does not cause particular concerns." Brilliant. It's a wonder she has lived this long.



The British woman who claims she is the biological mother to Michael Jackson's three kids and should have a say in the Jackson vs. Deborah Rowe custody settlement - filed a motion in L.A. Superior Court Tuesday (March 27) requesting shared custody of the children and requesting Jackson hand over his Neverland Ranch and another Encino, California home to her. BAHHHHH! The woman, Nona Paris Lola Jackson, is one crazy lady. Nona writes in court documents, "Debbie's hospital records will prove that my kids are not hers because of DNA...."I gave birth through the means of water birth because I am technically a (sic) herbalist."



Scrapper Foxy Brown (aka Inga Marchand) showed up in a Florida court yesterday and pleaded not guilty to attacking a beauty store employee in a Florida. Brown's appearance in court comes a week after a Broward County judge issued a warrant for her arrest after she failed to attend her scheduled March 22 hearing. [Starpulse]



Britney Spears picked-up her kids from KFed-Ex then proceeded to dump them with the nanny so she could drug seek get her painful molar tended to - or have her teeth whitened. Whatever, we're talking teeth people. It's annoying just typing this tooth crap. [tmz]

Today's "Oh, Puh-Leeeze" News Brought to You By Michael Jackson

MJ has been reviewing plans for a 50-foot robotic replica of himself for Las Vegas. Eh gawd.

"It would be in the desert sands," said Mike Luckman of Luckman Van Pier, consultants to large entertainment companies. "Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying would see. Neon is wonderful, but it's old school." Luckman's partner, Andre Van Pier, who designed the futuristic spacesuits worn recently by Bono and U2 at a benefit concert in New Orleans, designed the robot. He has also sketched out a stage set of a giant audience-interactive video game with human cyborgs controlled by the audience. Said Luckman: "Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them."

He has reportedly bought a house in sin city and is in talks to potentially have a "Celion Dion"-esque type of run but many doubt he could fill a 4,100 seat venue every night. Who the hell wants to see a pervert who paid off accusers an alleged pedophile gyrate and "Hee-He!" all night?

At least the guy still thinks highly of himself - though this is probably an act. Click here if you care to read the whole story. I have to stop typing about him because now I feel dirty and gross.

M.Jackson's Kids Have Another Mom?

According to ABCNews.com:

LA Judge Says London Woman Can't Intervene in Michael Jackson Custody Settlement With Ex-Wife:

"A British woman who claims she is the mother of Michael Jackson's three children cannot intervene in the pop star's custody settlement with his ex-wife, a judge has ruled.

Nona Paris Lola Jackson, 36, of London, filed a motion in October demanding a role in the custody settlement between the singer and Deborah Rowe. Superior Court Judge Robert Schnider denied the motion in November and again on Wednesday, saying she had failed to properly notify Jackson and Rowe of her claims.

The woman hadn't provided "credible evidence" that she was the children's birth mother, the judge said.

He left open the opportunity for her to bring the motion again if Jackson and Rowe were served properly."

Is there really anything to say about this mess? Jacko-Drama for life!

Bits of Upchuck

• Oh SNAP! 2nd lawsuit filed in the Brandy fatal car crash saga.
• NBC has, reorganized programming. Upchuck to NBC: "Don't f*cking touch Studio 60!"
• Michael Jackson's flu allegedly killed someone.
• Fidos everywhere are living longer but are they also losing it?
• Anna Nicole Smith's mom wants grandson Daniel exhumed.
• If you like Stephen Colbert like I do -- Get one of these!