Saturday, March 17, 2007

An Ode To Ireland Before I Head Out to Partake in My City's St. Patty's Day Festival

Have a drink on me today and make it an awesome day! I'll try to post later if I can see through me Guinness-Goggles. : )

Ohhhh Paris & Nicole
When will your time be up?

The annoying couple were snapped filming their TV show "A Simple drugged out spoiled rotten overrated Life"...they irritate me to no end.

Hey Katherine, Smoking is Not Sexy

Ms. Heigl of Grey's Anatomy was snapped about L.A. yesterday (March16, '07) smacking away on gum, puffing on a cancer stick and chatting on the phone.

I'm not posting these pics to encourage smoking. As a reformed smoker - I just want to show how unattractive and gross it is. Sheesh, reformed smokers are the worst!

Hey Lindsay - You're a Foolio, Yeah, I Said It

Heading out for another sober fabulous night on the town...

It wouldn't be Lindsay if she didn't go out every night. Sobriety my arse. Click here to see LaLohan shopping with her loving enabling mother earlier in the day.

How do you not notice your cooter is hanging out?...

Friday, March 16, 2007

Bits of Upchuck

* Adderall loving-no eating skeleton-celebutard Nicole Richie and her poser fiance' Joel Madden almost got married in Vegas on February 17 but she really wanted her enabling father's (Lionel Richie) approval so they didn't do it. The great news is that they plan to marry soon at Mexico's Las Ventanas resort in Cabo San Lucas. EVEN BETTER NEWS? They'll be divorced in less than a year. MY PRAYER? Lord, please don't let them procreate.

* Tobago's Archdeacon wants Elton John banned from the Plymouth Jazz Festival because they they don't want to catch his gayness. 'Cause they're so close to being gay that Elton John will be the final straw? That's just crazy talk.

* Heather Mills has been likened to "the boy who cried wolf." Greedy Heather has been advised not to waste 999 emergency calls to police when being bothered by the razzi. Hopefully she won't abuse 911 here in the States - our cops will put 50 bullets in her.

* Jennifer Aniston is skipping out her way out of Malibu and right into the arms of waiting NYC. Great.

* David and Victoria Beckham relived their first meeting at the Lowry Hotel for their 10th anniversary. David reportedly gave Poshbot diamond jewelry, dozens of white roses & handmade chocolates. WAIT, you mean to tell me that after 10yrs together the guy still doesn't know his wife doesn't eat anything let alone chocolates? I'll be sure to spank his bottom when he gets here tonight.

There's Our Drew!

I just want to gobble up Drew Barrymore. She's scrumptiously good people. However, she could use a die job...those are some roots boy - but she gets a free pass 'cause she is one cool chica.

P.S. My dearest Drew - my hubby will take the Porsche. Thanks!

China's Film Sensors Cut Sexy Scenes From 'Babel'

Scenes involving a troubled Japanese teenager - played by Rinko Kikuchi (pictured above) - in which she removes her clothes in a bid to seduce an older man have been cut from the film.

I've seen Babel and Rinko was very naked for quite a bit of time. Her performance was great in that she had to be such a pained and vulnerable girl.

China allows 20 foreign films to be screened in the country each year, with the China Film Association often removing violent, sexually explicit or politically controversial scenes before they are screened to the public.

The truncated version of the Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett-starring movie was released in China Monday, March 12 ('07).

Pamela Part of The Range Rover Brigade

Another celebrity picture - another Range Rover. Pam was snapped with one of her dogs in Malibu. Can you believe the heels on that girl?!

Madonna's Ex-Nanny Muzzled...For Now

On March 9 ('07), I reported this about my girl Madonna and her trader of a ex-nanny. Now it appears things have changed.

Melissa Dumas, trader ex-nanny to Madonna's chirrens in 2005-2006, signed a deal earlier this month with Crown Publishing to pen an "explosive" book about her time with Madonna and family.

The New York Daily News is now reporting the authors agent, Sharlene Martin, revealed yesterday (March 15, '07) that Crown Publishing had pulled the plug on the project - reportedly under pressure from Madonna's lawyers.

The book was expected to dish on the singer's marriage to film director Guy Ritchie, her extremely strict house rules, diet and the controversial adoption of Malawian son David Banda, according to reports.

According to the Daily News, the trader ex-nanny, "had very little already on was very much a work in progress" when Crown pulled the plug and it may have had second thoughts because said book was likely to take longer to complete than originally thought.

The agent declined to answer questions about her plans for the book and Madonna's rep. Liz Rozenberg, declined to comment on the proposed book or reports that Madge's lawyers had pressured Crown Publishing into quashing the book.

-- Does anyone think Madonna's peeps weren't working overtime to make this go away? We definitley haven't heard the last of the trader ex-nanny - that's for sure!

Did Kid "Rock" A Woman?

Kid Rock would never get the girls if he wasn't a rich and famous rocker - in my opinion. Looks like he may have gone to be too far in trying to "keep" one of those girls at his home in his native Michigan.

Rock , real name Bob Ritchie, Pamela Anderson's ex, is under investigation in Michigan after he allegedly assaulted a 28-year-old woman in his home March 8, 2007.

The alleged victim has filed a police report with the Oakland County Sheriff's Department. The woman told police that she and a male friend met Rock at a bar in Clarkston County and he invited them back to his house in Macomb County. They drank, listened to tunes & chatted, but when she tried to leave she alleges Kid Rock grabbed her by the back of the neck twice when they were outside of his home and pushed her towards her car.

Rock confessed to police that the two had been invited to his home but says the woman began acting rude and obnoxious so he asked her to leave and she the allegedly told him she was going to accuse him of assaulting her.

The man who was with the woman has corroborated her story after being interviewed by deputies, but a third witness has supported Kid Rock's version.

A police spokesman says, "At this point, we have two people who say one thing and two other people that say something else. Once the investigation is completed, a report will be given to the Oakland County Prosecutor's Office."

Will Pamela ride in on her white horse - flash her boobies to the cops - and make this go away? See kids, excessive drinking leads to unhappy times, poorly interpreted events & lost memory. Lesson learned? Not yet.

Masi Oka's Cheating On Me!

It pains me to hear that other chicks love Masi Oka who plays Hiro on NBC's Heroes. Not that I'm surprised mind you. After all, he's cute, seemingly kind, funny as hell & his character has the ability to teleport and stop time.

This is what Masi recently said: "I now have power over hot women - at the moment at least," he laughs. "I've had girls just come up to me - that would normally walk by - and they hug and kiss me and say, 'Oh my God, I love you.' " Masi's certainly not shying away from the attention. "When they run away, I'm like , 'Wow! Wait, wait. Where are you going? Don't run away.’ It's been kind of surreal."

Ugh. Other girls hugging my Masi?! Talk about a knife through the heart!


BritBrit Bought a New Wig!

I commend Britney for her new wig. This long-brown concoction appears to be of much better quality - at least from a distance. Click her name link at the bottom of this post to see her failed attempts at covering that bald head of hers.

Still hard to look at her though: I can only think of her on bulimic binges, drug & alcohol binges, flashing her cooter & being really sad inside.

Better days are ahead Britney! Work hard chica - you can do it. Hopefully.

Pax's First Passport

Enjoy Pax as he is now - while you can - you know Mama Jolie will have him wearing black and grey with a killer mohawk in no time.

Mama Jolie is so proud: "I will stay at home to help Pax adjust to his new life," Jolie told Friday's Ho Chi Minh City Law newspaper, according to a translation on the Associated Press. "I have four children and caring for them is the most important thing for me at the moment. I am very proud and happy to be their mother."

...But in answering those who have questioned the adoption, Jolie says, "Everyone would agree that children need to have a family. I have the ability to help children fulfill that desire. Why should I say no?"

- Contrary to Vietnamese reports, Adoptions From The Heart said today (March 16'07) " Throughout Ms. Jolie's adoption process, she received no preferential treatment from the Vietnamese government or Adoptions From The Heart, and, contrary to earlier reports, her application was not fast-tracked."

I'm totally calling bullsh*t on that. Come on - filing paperwork, getting approved & bringing home the kid in less than a month. Puh-lease. But congrats nonetheless. It is a blessing.


Gotta Love Christina!

Check out Ms. X performing at the Calgary Saddledome. The pic of her with her dancers is awesome. Click to really enjoy!

Ehh Gawd...Check out Doherty's Sore

Ick. Kate Moss and Pete Doherty headed to the airport to jet off to Sir Philip Green's 60th birthday bash in the Maldives. Pete, wearing an oh-so-sexy sore near his lips, took a humongous suitcase with him - more like a purse - packed with a beer and some sort of appliance.

These two are just beyond nasty. Thank you both for making me vurp. Blech.

LaLohan & Mama Mooch Hit Chanel

Because shopping rids you of all your problems? I want to smack her...badly.

Courteney & Coco!

Coco is a tiny little thing like her mom. These were snapped as they left Ed's Diner yesterday, March 15 ('07). I wasn't kidding when I said L.A. is the "Land of Range Rovers".

No "Blog" for the "*itch"

Vogue is expanding their Web site in an effort to become more involved with the iternet. Looks like they've figured out that it's not going anywhere.

Well, Ms. "Devil Wears Prada" muse herself, Anna Wintour, is as picky with words as she is with her wardrobe.

Page Six reports that, according to one "Vogue-er", "They are expanding the Vogue Web site and getting more involved with the Internet. But Anna hates the word 'blog' so much, she refuses to call anything on her site a blog and has charged her staff with coming up with a new word that isn't as garish-sounding. She wants it ASAP - in time for launch." However, a source close to Wintour said, "Anna just doesn't want people to refer to stories as blogs, because they're not. It's an improper use of the word." A rep said, "Anna has nothing against blogs."

So kids - what shall the new word be? Vlog for Vogue blog? SUYB for stick-up-your-butt? They'll probably go with ANNA.

Anna Nicole Smith Roundup

Today's events so far:

Larry Birkhead (pictured above), Anna Nicole's ex-boyfriend and self-appointed father of Smith's daughter, Dannielynn Hope, fired attorney Debra Opri today just hours before a custody hearing in the Bahamas.

Earlier this week:
-- A computer that Anna Nicole's nurse was using in the room when Smith died has been confiscated.

-- Seminole tribal police and Bahamian authorities began meeting to discuss the probe into Anna Nicole Smith’s death, but prosecutors in Florida said Wednesday no homicide investigation was under way...“We are continuing to help law enforcement agencies and the medical examiner as they try and figure out the nature of this death,” said Ron Ishoy, Broward County state attorney’s office spokesman. “This is not a homicide investigation."

-- Fox News's own pompous *ss, Bill O'Reilly, is being sued for $10 million for defamation by another potential Dannielynn father (so the guy says), Prince von Anhalt (pictured above). It has been reported that von Anhalt actually bought his title from a broke princess.

O'Reilly said this on air: “Look, this guy’s a fraud,” O’Reilly said, according to a transcript of the show posted on the network’s Web site. “We know he’s a fraud. But let’s — what I want to talk about is — he’s done. His credibility is — is finished."

In the suit, von Anhalt alleges O'Reilly's on-air comments have harmed his reputation - that since O'Reilly's show aired, people give him dirty looks when he goes to the grocery store. Clearly he doesn't think throwing his hat in the ring as Dannielynn's potential father could draw the stares and snickers.

“They say, ‘Look, here comes the fraud,’ ” he said. “I get lots of e-mails from people bad-mouthing me. It’s very embarrassing.”

...Will this be wrapped up this year let alone in the next few weeks? Ridiculous.

Kirsten Wins at ShoWest & Michelle Pfeifer Stands the Test of Time

For those of you who love KiDu you will be proud to know she won "Female Star of the Year" at ShoWest Thursday night, March 15 ('07). Congrats KiDu!

...and Michelle Pfeifer makes me feel ugly. And I'm pretty young.

Hayden & Milo LOVE the Stanley Cup

Everyone's favorite cheerleader was snapped making out with hockey's greatest trophy - the Stanley Cup. Wouldn't catch me kissing it considering the number of hands that have touched it! Hayden Panettiere & Milo Ventimiglia look great!

Smallville's Kristin Kreuk

Kristin was snapped grabbing the proverbial Starbucks in L.A. yesterday, March 15, 2007. That's definitely the face of Neutrogena. Did you know she has been the face of Neutrogena longer than anyone before her - including Mischa Barton, Jennifer Love Hewitt & Mandy Moore? No small feat! -- Here's a wedding promo shot from Smallville. PRETTY.