Saturday, February 24, 2007

Say "Hi" To Ms. Drunky & Ms. Naked

I give Tara props for getting herself together and showing her face around town again. Chica had some messed up days - months - years? - there for awhile.

Bai Ling: That girl is a nutso-nympho!! She's always showing her naughty bits - boobs & cooch - but it's cool seeing her on Lost. The show was lacking in the prostitute department.

Doesn't He Look...Interesting?

What do you guys think of Josh at the Independent Spirit Awards? I like glasses on people - everyone is always so worried about looking pretty or handsome - but these glasses might be a bit much for my taste.

I am a "Joshy" fan though. Kids got potential.

Trustees Seek DNA From James Brown:
Guess they couldn't find it in "da hot tub!"

I couldn't resist. "Rub-a-dub --yowww! In a hot tub -- yow-yow!"

Now on to serious matters:
As we all know, James Brown got around (sorry, didn't mean to rhyme). The trustees of his estate know this and they have asked for DNA samples to be taken from Mr. brown to prove the paternity of any and all who claim him as "Daddy" - or in the case of moms - "My baby daddy."

Probably would've been a bit more respectful had they not waited for him to be dead 2 MONTHS to think about this! Apparently there have been lots of people who have come forward claiming Brown paternity but Brown only named 6 (slacker) in his will. Brown's longtime partner, and his partner, Tomi Rae Hynie, has said her young son also is Brown's child.

As for now, Mr. Brown is presumably resting peacefully in his coffin as he waits to be respected.


New Madonna Hair!

(click all to enlarge)

It has been quite awhile since Madge changed her hair and this current "do" is smashing. She looks so fresh. No matter what anyone says: Madonna rocks and is a total Icon. These pics (2 above & one below on the left) were taken in London last week.

But what's with Guy? Looks like he's about to kick some razzi ass and Madge has to hold him back. 'Sup with that?

Anna: No Burial B4 Tuesday

Richard C. Milstein, Danielynn's court-appointed guardian, in a statement made today, said there will be no funeral for Anna before Tuesday.

If you'll remember, Circuit Court Judge Larry Seidlin assigned Milstein as Dannielynn's guardian to protect her interests in the "next of kin" case for control of Anna Nicole Smith's body.

After what should have taken only a day to decide -- Judge Seidlin finally ruled Thursday to let Milstein make the decision as to where Anna will be buried. Both Judge Seidlin and Mr. Milstein agree with Howard K. Stern that she should be buried next to her son in the Bahamas.

Richard C. Milstein said in Saturday's statement he was working as quickly as possible on the funeral details for the former Playboy centerfold who died earlier this month.

(Future resting place for Anna: Lakeview Cemetery, Nassau, Bahamas)

Everyone's Loves "Little Fockers!"

" Universal Pictures has renewed its deal with Robert De Niro's Tribeca Prods. and will develop "Little Fockers," the third installment of the lucrative comedy franchise.

Director Jay Roach and the producers are presently planning the film's story with Larry Stuckey officially penning the script reports Variety.

The plan is for all the principals from the previous film to return - De Niro, Blythe Danner, Ben Stiller, Teri Polo, Barbara Streisand and Dustin Hoffman.

Both "Meet the Parents" and "Meet the Fockers' have pulled in a total of $845 million in worldwide ticket sales."

CU to Jolie-Pitts, "SLOW DOWN!"
The orphans aren't going anywhere!

(Older foreign magazine cover)

(Gallery of the Absurd artwork)

So the Jolie-Pitts have reportedly filed papers to adopt again -- this time it will be a little guy from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City (Vietnam).

WHY? WHY? WHY? Why add another child so fast? Shiloh isn't even a year old, you really haven't had Zahara (Ethiopia) very long and you can't tell me that Maddox (Cambodia) isn't already missing out on mommy and daddy time.

Slow down and enjoy the ones you have. Unless, of course, you would like to adopt me...'cause this b*tch is available! Kidding mom -- just kidding.

P!nk In Miami!

LOVE LOVE LOVE me some P!nk.
She rocks the Casbah with her bad self.
Girlfriend is in SHAPE!

Mr. JT In Miami!

Mr. "I'm bringing sexy back" has landed in my Miami for the Florida leg of his tour. Is it just me or does he look a bit chubs with his shirt off?

Wish I flew down there for the night like I did to see Madonna last July!

I sure hope either just finished golfing or is headed to the Country Club considering this outfit. But love the cap!

Who's the chicky?

Cam & Drew Love Da' Ganja

I'm not saying you should but if you're going to smoke it -- this is the way to do it. I'm just saying!

Definitely don't want to do it like Paris or Mischa -- the foolios!

Gnarls Barkley's: Hung?

750ml Hennesey? CHECK

PB&J fixings? CHECK

Swisher Sweets Blunt cigars? CHECK

Magnum Condoms? SUPER-DUPER CHECK!

(Click to enlarge like most images on Upchuck)

This is both impressive (condoms are a good thing) and nasty...backstage sex with random, nothing new -- but still naaaasty!


Douche Bag Says What?

Apparently Douche Bag says this:

“You hide behind the shield. This is bullsh*t!”

That's it. I am officially filing Busta Rhymes under 'douche bag'...didn't know I had such a file did ya?

He already has two separate assault charges under his belt and, oh yeah, a dead bodyguard. Apparently his bad-ass list is too short so he went and ran a red light yesterday (Thursday, 2/23) morning -- while driving without a valid license -- and then proceeded to talk shi*t to the police officers lucky enough to be graced by his presence.

Uh, no Busta, you're the bull*shit AND the douche bag. And if you're now thinking about coming to get me let me refer you to the info I gave Serena Williams after I commented on her lovely manly appearance.


Will Ferrell Cracks Me Up!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Blades of Glory will be awful -- but there's just something about Will that cracks me up!

Come on, how can you forget?:...

'Cause She'd Cry If He Didn't

Sorry to be mean. I'm just so tired of this girl:

" BEYONCE KNOWLES stands to pick up half an Oscar if songwriter SCOTT CUTLER wins gold for Best Song on Sunday (25FEB07) - he'll cut the statuette down the middle.

Oscar rules limit the amount of nominees in the Best Song category and, as one of five writers credited with DREAMGIRLS hit LISTEN, Knowles missed out on a nod.

But Cutler insists the singer/actress won't be left out of he wins gold.

He says, "Beyonce helped that along a lot - little lifts in the melody, little lifts in the song that we hadn't thought of. She just kept sending back ideas, thoughts, what she wanted.

"I'll cut my Oscar in the middle and give her half."

KFed-Ex Not A Total D*ck

It is awesome to see this guy stepping up and willing to help a girl out. I mean, he is trying to take $25+ million of her money so the least he could do is visit her in rehab. He reportedly had a private security team and police escort to/from the facility.

Yesterday KFed-Ex spent an hour with Britney at Promises Treatment Center in Malibu. $100 says they get back together once she's clean. Any takers?

Britney has been through some major stuff this past week and she needs all the support she can get. Nice that everyone is stepping up now.

Note to my family: Please don't wait until I'm a drugged-out-head-shaving-reckless mess to help me -- should I ever lose it....k? K.

Here's Momma Spears (in pink) arriving at KFed-Ex's Tarzana home and KFed-Ex's mom also arriving to help with the chirrens:

Doesn't this now seem like 50-million years ago?

Money-Guru Suze Orman "Out"

Does this come as a shock to any of you? No shock here. Upchuck's gaydar is in full affect!

Great to see people comfortable with who they are and willing to share. GO SUZE!

If you want to learn how to take care of your biz -- click here.

Anna Nicole Smith Liked the


Dumped Lesbian Lover for Old-Man Money

Oh goodness me...Ex-lover Sandi Powledge is talking:
"...And Sandi Powledge's heart was broken a second time by the blond bombshell's death.

Powledge had a three-year affair with the bisexual stripper-turned-Playmate of the Year after meeting her in a Houston gay bar in 1991, she told the newspaper.

They split after fame and J. Howard Marshall's fortune got in the way.

Powledge remembered Smith had drug problems when they dated, but she said it was her son's death that killed her."

Well, wouldn't you too take millions of dollars over va-jay-jay?! Even if you are a lesbian? OF COURSE!

Being Victoria Beckham:
1st Installment

They'll be coming to America soon since David signed on to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy soccer team so I thought I would introduce them to you guys on a more personal level than pictures.

Other than their gazillions of dollars, her torpedo boobies and ultra-thin frame -- they seem quite down to earth. Let's hope they resist the Jesus Cruise Scientology bit!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Star Trek(er) Takes On Tim Hardaway

If you've lived under a rock for the last two weeks you may have missed idiot Hardaway's anti-gay remarks he made during a radio interview on Wednesday, February 14, 2007.

For example: ``You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States.''

Well, along comes this pathetic attempt at saving his evil arse.

But what I really want to use this post for is to share this awesome video starring Star Trek's George Takei who is openly gay.

It's awesome and I encourage you to share it!:

Sucky 'Idol' Singer Barba
Really Sucks

I commented the other day on who I thought would be the American Idol front runners and who never should've made it to the top 24 like this fool Antonella Barba.

Fast forward to today and I stumbled upon some pics of her "blowing" a guy and partaking in naked-under-age drinking. Click here to see what I'm talking about.

Awww, the parentals are gonna be so proud!

DG Pulls "Macho Man" Ads in Spain

2007 Spring/Summer Campaign

Consumer group Facua and Spain's Women's Institute complained to DG and the Labour Ministry about DG's spring ad campaign for what they call DG's "macho ads".

...the ad "not only reduces women to a sexual object but the image sends the message that the use of force as a means to achieve subjugation is admissible."

Consumer group Facua meanwhile said it had also asked Dolce and Gabbana to withdraw the ad, which it said depicted "macho violence", from its international catalogue.

DG said:

"We are withdrawing this photo only from the Spanish market. They have shown themselves to be a bit backward," the firm said in Milan where it is based, daily newspaper El Periodico reported.

"What does an artistic photo have to do with real acts?" it added.

The ad depicts a bare-chested man using his hands to pin a woman dressed in a black evening dress and high heeled shoes to the ground as four other men in various stages of undress look on."

2006 campaign

They always do artsy ads but I don't like the pinning down of the girl with other guys watching. Guess I'm not at artist!

Meg Ryan & Matthew Perry?

Reports are that these two have been an item since December but neither is confirming said reports.

One thing to say to Meg: LEAVE YOUR FACE ALONE MAMA SITA'!


Friday Smackdown!

Lady Sovereign, in typical rapper style, talks sh*t about Lily Allen by saying Lily's successes were fuelled by her father Keith -- that is was too easy.

However, generous Allen retorts, "I've spoken to my dad and he says he'd be happy to adopt you if you think it will give you a leg up.""


To Lady Sovereign: Uh, one thing...My 8-yr-old cousin Bambi called from 1985 -- she wants her side-pony back.