Jesus Cruise is Marrying People Now? Eh Gawd.

Oh man, Tom Cruise is at the "Highest Level of 'clear' in Scientology" and now he may "perform a wedding" for one of the fake church's richest benefactors, Australian heir James Packer.

According to Page Six, Packer will wed model-turned-singer Erica Baxter this Wednesday on France's Cote d'Azur and Cruise just might be the man to perform the ceremony. Blech. I just totally vurped.