Dearest Kirsten,

I am writing you this note in an effort to encourage you to stand up straight and quit the cigs pumpkin. Just watching you makes me feel 120 yrs old with stage 4 lung cancer.

My lungs are-a-burn'n Kiki...my joints are stiff...and I now I poo a little every time I have to cough up one of them black and green cancer loogies.

Cut grandma some slack would ya?

Freshen up - stand up - drink some water - and smoke a bowl of "health" for a change.

Bless your heart,

Celebrity "Feeling like MeeMaw" Upchuck